Sleepless in the Fire Nation Capital
by ponyboycurtiss
Summary: Zuko is an emotional wreck, but what else is new? Short oneshot. Makes the briefest of allusions to my first story, "Toph, the Matchmaker."


Takes place during the unaccounted for year in _The Promise: Part I_

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Zuko is an emotional wreck, but what else is new? Short oneshot. Makes the briefest of allusions to my first story, _Toph, the Matchmaker_.

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Zuko tried scrunching his eyes up tighter. No luck. Breathing. He was breathing too much. He should slow down. Inhale. Hold it. Exhale. Hold it. That helped. His heart rate began to slow. Picture the sun. Inhale. It gets brighter. Exhale. It gets dimmer.

Thud.

Zuko sat up straight. He pushed the bed linens aside and cautiously made his way across the room towards the door. Flinging it open he sent a burst of fire over the right shoulder of a guard, missing his face by mere inches.

Frozen, Zuko paled. It was the same guard as last time. The same young-looking, scared-witless guard whose shoulder he had burned the month before. Sighing, Zuko relaxed his posture and apologized to the guard before slamming the bedroom door shut.

Flopping on the bed, he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.

_Why can't I fall asleep_?

Paranoia was the obvious reason, first on the list. Followed quickly by stress and then stress three more times. Then guilt. And then like seventeen more stresses. He was in charge of an entire nation now.

_Don't think about it. If you fall asleep, maybe you'll wake up and this was all a dream. And you're still with the Avatar hiding out in the Western Air Temple._

Zuko quickly pushed these thoughts aside. They weren't productive. He hadn't seen any of his onetime companions since he had ascended to the throne. They were too busy. Or maybe it was him. He didn't really have time to notice, aside from the hours he spent each night plagued by insomnia.

Snuggling back under the bed sheets, Zuko tried once again to clear his mind. He searched his memories for a feeling of calm serenity to which he might cling, a wave of peaceful feelings he could catch and ride into slumber. His thoughts turned again to the nights he had spent at the Western Air Temple. The moonlit nights he had spent talking with Sokka. Sokka whom he hadn't seen or spoken to in so long. Sokka who always helped when he was feeling overwhelmed. Sokka who wasn't so much stupid as completely self-unaware. And maybe ignorant. Zuko snorted at the notion of Sokka's ignorance. Ignorance was truly bliss, for Sokka at least.

_If only he were here to tell me what to do._

But maybe it didn't need to be Sokka. Maybe Zuko just needed to sort out his problems aloud. Eyes still closed, Zuko began a conversation with himself: "It's not so bad. Sure, you're stressed out. But you have to do this. It's your destiny. You wanted this, right?"

He answered himself quickly: "No. I certainly did not want all this stress and pressure and obligations and power and responsibility. It's way too much! I'm only a teenager! This is a job for someone way older than me!"

"But you have no choice!"

"Just run away. Take a break for a few days."

"You can't do that! It would cause a national incident! What few days? You have so much to do and oversee and take care of! You'll never have a moment's rest again for the rest of your life!"

"That sounds awful! You might as well die right now! Why would anyone want this job? It's the literal worst! There's way too much stress!"

"I know, right? It's like boiling water in a pot. And then the water all boils away and you keep going and the pot just starts to get hot and then it ruins and you're left with a broken pot. And I'm that broken pot that doesn't even work right anymore! And people keep counting on me anyways! Like I can still do anything useful! But I can't! Because I'm broken!"

Zuko's argument with himself was cut short by the door to his room flying open. He unscrewed his eyes and looked over to see the young, scared-looking guard at the door, ready to attack whomever Zuko was yelling at.

Sighing, Zuko beckoned the guard to enter. "Close the door behind you."

The guard did as he was told. When he turned back around, he looked so frightened, Zuko thought the guard might pee his pants at any second. Taking pity on him, Zuko decided against verbally assaulting the guard for several minutes. Instead Zuko motioned for him to come closer.

The guard reluctantly obliged.

"What would you do if you were me?" Zuko asked, somehow expecting the guard to provide the answer to all his problems.

"I…I'm not sure I know what you mean," the guard replied, voice quivering.

Zuko sat up and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm sorry. I'm just not sleeping well. And I don't know why. I'm under so much stress lately and I feel like it might actually kill me. And I have no one to talk to. I don't really have any friends. Not anymore. Not that I ever did. But they're all doing other stuff. They don't have time to come see me. Not that I have time to see them either. And so I'm left here all alone. With Mai, I guess, but that's basically just like being all alone. But you get mocked more. She's just filled with so much apathy. And not the good kind, like ennui. Just the stupid selfish kind. I mean, she's trying more lately, I guess, but it just kind of feels the same in the end." Zuko sighed deeply. He looked up at the stupefied face of the Guard and took pity.

"Sorry. You can go now," Zuko said, laying back down, pulling a pillow over his face.

"I…" the guard started, but then stopped. As he headed for the door, Zuko called out and he stopped.

"What?" Zuko asked with genuine curiosity.

"I just…I think you're doing a good job as Fire Lord. I think you're the best Fire Lord we've ever had."

Zuko felt the faintest of smiles breeze across his lips as he peeked out from under the pillow to see the guard's embarrassed face as he tried to hide it under his helmet. "You may go," Zuko said finally, waving his hand dismissively.

The guard quickly left, and Zuko was once again alone.

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Thank you for reading this story! I hope you enjoyed it! ^^; Much like Zuko, I too was suffering from insomnia this week. This was the product. Please feel free to leave a review if you feel so inclined~


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